Friday, July 24, 2009

Five Wishes

My mother passed away on July 18th at about 2:00 AM, 4 hours after the nurse removed the ventilator. Mom suffered an aneurysm (sub-arachnoid hemorrhage) sometime between July 4th and 5th. My youngest sister went to her apartment on the evening of the 5th. She was not able to get in, so she called the paramedics.

After they broke down the door, paramedics treated my mom and brought her to the hospital. She was transferred to another hospital where she remained until her passing.

Mom had filled out something called Five Wishes a few years ago. It stated that my brother-in-law was her medical proxy along with other wishes that she had for the way she should be treated in case she was unable to speak for herself. If you haven't hear of Five Wishes, you should go take a look. Lakeland Health Care will send you a complimentary copy. You can also find out about Five Wishes and download a copy from the Wikipedia page.

There was really no chance for my mother to survive this type of aneurysm. She smoked most of her life, she was not found immediately, she had a abdominal aortic aneurysm repaired a few years ago, she had a spot on her lungs (that seems to have gotten smaller over the last few months), and she was diabetic. No one would have guessed by looking at her that she was weak in any way. She had a part time job and was always helping others in anyway that she could. But smoking has a way of damaging a body in places you cannot see.

She was 66 years old. Here is how she asked to be remembered (as found in her Five Wishes)
Mary danced through life, stopping only to smell the first flowers of Spring and catch snowflakes of the first snowfall every Winter.

My sister wrote the following about her:
She was a free-spirited artist, philosopher, dreamer, cheerleader, beachcomber, student, caregiver, gardener, reader, and believed that Jesus Christ was her Lord and Savior.

I am grateful to the nurses in the hospital as well as the doctors. The nurses were kind, caring, and compassionate. Even though my mom was comatose, the nurses spoke to her as if she was able to respond and as if she was still awake. It was comforting even though I knew her state and knew what the end result of this injury would be.

It was comforting to look over the last year and see how many things mom was able to 'finish' up. I don't think she knew what was going to happen, but I believe that our Heavenly Father whispers to people and helps them to prepare and to finish many things. My mom did listen, even to the cleaning out of her car a few days before she had the aneurysm. The list of things she did seemed unexplainable and 'weird' at the time, they make perfect sense now and are very comforting. It is wonderful to know that there is a Father in Heaven who prepares us for what lies ahead.

Mom, I love you. Sleep now, take your rest, and be at peace. We will miss you. Thank you for the wonderful gifts you gave us during the last 12 months, they are priceless and comforting.


~Tonia said...

That was beautiful and I am so sorry for your loss...

TJ said...

Thank you.

Denice said...

you don't know mw, but i follow your blog. i pray you can find the peace that your mother is now enjoying.

TJ said...

Thank you. And thank you for following my blog. Although my mother was never a hobby farmer, she loved being here in the mountains with us last August. She loved the animals, the milk, the surroundings, everything about where we live. It was a blessing to have her visit before she passed away.

Tara said...

I am so sorry about your mother. So glad that you know that she is with our Lord!


Grandma Elsie said...

T J I am sorry I have not been reading blogs lately.
My prayers are with you for I know you are going to miss such a wonderful Mommy.
My Mom has been gone 11 years and I still miss her at times. guess I always will.
Take comfort in knowing ,she is with her Savior and at peace, as I know you do.
Elsie <><